“The quality of our closest relationships, more than any other factor, determines our physical health, resistance to disease, and longevity.” ~ John M. Gottman & Julie S. Gottman
Relationships play a major role in life, and research indicates that satisfying relationships lead to greater subjective wellbeing and can predict satisfaction with life more generally. Relationships, like all important parts of life, can take effort to maintain and sustain. Sometimes it can be hard, and there can be a reduction in communication and intimacy.
It might be time to try Couples Therapy if:
- You’ve tried to address your relationship issues together, but it hasn’t been successful
- You are arguing more often without resolving anything
- You want a neutral and non-judgemental space to talk things through
- You feel disconnected from your partner
- You are struggling with parenting
- You have lost trust in your partner due to infidelity or a breach of trust
Empathic Counselling supports couples to:
- Improve their communication, connection and intimacy
- Deepen their empathy and compassion for one another
- Identify and manage the factors which are contributing to stress in the relationship
- Identify goals to achieve as individuals and as a couple
- Change problematic conflict patterns and address unresolved conflict
- Recover from relationship injuries such as affairs or breaches of trust
- Negotiate relationship expectations and roles, such as housework, parenting etc
- Navigate life transitions such as getting married, having a child etc
- Navigate parenting issues (with special interest in supporting parents of neurodivergent children)
Some of the benefits of Couples Therapy include:
- Developing a deeper awareness of self, each other, and the relationship
- Becoming more able to identify and express feelings, fears, values, and hopes
- Learning to identify issues that lead to recurring conflicts and disconnection, and developing strategies to manage this
- Improving communication skills through learning more about each other’s communication style, and learning skills that are helpful rather than harmful to the relationship
- Strengthening of friendship and attachment with each other
- Improving the overall satisfaction of your relationship
Therapeutic Approaches
Empathic Counselling takes an integrative approach, incorporating a range of evidence-based therapies such as the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy, Trauma-informed Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is designed to support couples of all cultures and sexual orientations. The Gottman Method is backed by over 40 years of rigorous research and includes practical and actionable steps that help couples to continue to work on their issues outside of therapy. Studies have shown that the Gottman Method can significantly improve relationship satisfaction.
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy helps couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas:
Friendship
Conflict Management
Creation of shared meaning
Interventions used in the Gottman Method are research-based and grounded in the Sound Relationship House theory. This theory identifies seven “floors” that a couple can move through to improve their relationship, along with two “weight-bearing walls,” which are essential to holding the couple together. Each floor of the Sound Relationship House represents an opportunity for couples to develop new skills that will strengthen their relationship.
Trauma-informed Couples Therapy
Trauma-informed couples therapy takes into account the impact of past trauma on your current relationships and behaviours. It recognises that trauma can affect your ability to trust, communicate, and connect with others, and seeks to address these challenges in a supportive and non-judgemental environment. Here are some potential benefits of trauma-informed couples therapy:
Improved self-esteem and self-worth: Trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Trauma-informed couples therapy can help you both to work through these issues and rebuild a positive sense of self, which can in turn improve your relationship.
Improved communication: One of the main goals of trauma-informed couples therapy is to help you and your partner improve your communication skills. This might involve learning how to express emotions and needs in a healthy and assertive way, or learning how to listen actively and empathically to your partner.
Greater understanding and empathy: By focusing on the impact of past trauma on current behaviours and relationships, trauma-informed couples therapy can help you and your partner gain a deeper understanding and empathy for one another. This can lead to increased compassion and support within the relationship, as well as a greater sense of connection.
Enhanced trust: Trust is often damaged in relationships where one or both partners have experienced trauma. Trauma-informed couples therapy can help you both work through issues of trust and build a stronger, more resilient bond.
Greater emotional regulation: Trauma can disrupt your ability to regulate your emotions, leading to outbursts or difficulty managing stress. Trauma-informed couples therapy can help you and your partner learn strategies for managing emotions and maintaining emotional balance, which can improve the overall health and stability of the relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) helps couples to build strong, healthy relationships by exploring and changing emotional dynamics to enhance mutual understanding and closeness. The therapy is grounded in attachment theory, a long-standing psychological theory with considerable support. According to this theory, emotional engagement and responsiveness are essential to a secure bond in a relationship. Having this secure and safe emotional connection is a fundamental human need. The aim of emotionally focused couples therapy, therefore, is to help couples to develop a trusting and secure bond.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy supports couples to:
- Identify unhelpful cycles in the way you and your partner interact with each other as it occurs during the session and understand the impact that this is having on the relationship.
- Become more aware of how your emotions are triggered and how you behave when that happens.
- Express your emotions and needs to each other more effectively, especially those which may be difficult to discuss.
- Listen, understand and react more empathically to your partner’s expression of emotions.
- Better cope with difficult or intense emotions.
- Communicate with each other in more helpful ways.
Please note that Couples Therapy appointments are available in-person only
You can book your appointment through the Booking page.